A Morning of Grief with Aiden

Yesterday morning was an emotional roller coaster ride of grief. It might sound strange, but it was one of the most special moments I've had in a long time, especially because I shared the experience with Aiden who is grieving the loss of his beloved Papa just as much as I am over the loss of my father just 3 short months ago.

Aiden has a wonderful book called "The Kissing Hand". The story is about a mom who shows her son that if she kisses his hand and he is ever without her and missing her, all he has to do is hold his hand to his cheek and remember his mother's love is always with him no matter where he goes. The book came with some cute heart shaped stickers that say The Kissing Hand on them so you can place a sticker on your hand to remind you of that endless love.

Yesterday morning I walked into Aiden's room and he had placed one of the stickers up on his bedroom wall. He told me it was for Papa because he will always be in his heart. He then showed me the two stickers he had placed on each of his hands and said one was for me and the other was for Grandma. I immediately teared up and hugged him tightly as he continued to display his grief and telling me how much he misses Papa.

We then went out into the living room where I was watching the very emotional final farewell to Regis show. They had the cast of "Rent" come on to perform their wonderful song "Seasons of Love" only changing some of the words to match things within Regis's long time career on the Regis and Kelly Show. I have always loved this song and for some reason it now makes me think of my dad. I lost it. So while Aiden sits on the couch continuing to say how much he misses Papa and that we need to get a new Papa, I sobbed while Liam looks at both of us in total confusion and of course a sense of humor. I haven't cried over the loss of my dad in quite some time. People keep telling me the tears will often come out of no where and can be brought on by simple things, like a song or a smell, and they couldn't have been more right.

Aiden and I embraced with tears flowing and it felt amazing to say the least. To have someone, even a four year old, to share those moments with is priceless. I explained to him like I always do that it's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry. When we have such raw emotions come to the surface we need to be sure to just stop what ever we're doing and take the time to feel. It was a much needed release for the both of us and my biggest hope is that by me and Aiden sharing our moments of grief together that we will also continue to heal and find peace together as well.

Missing you now and always Dad/Papa. May you continue to watch over us, rest in peace and live on in our hearts forever.