I have attempted blogging several times before. I always enjoy it, but for some odd reason my busy life as a wife and stay at home mom of two wild little boys gets in the way of me choosing to spend what little spare time I have blogging rather then sitting motionless on the couch watching trash tv and sipping a glass of wine. However, I'm hoping this go at it again is different because I'm finding a need a larger sense of an outlet and way to rant, rave and vent without judgement of who I am or what kind of mother I may choose to be.
With that said, I've been a stay at home mom for the past 2 years and some odd months. I'd like to think it was by choice, but after losing my last 3 jobs I just began to feel like "someone" out there above and beyond me was sending me a loud and clear message that it was time for me to leave the outside of the home work world and enter into a journey of being the one in charge of raising my children all while getting paid with the rewards of watching their every growth and development rather then in dollars and cents. Is it all worth it? Most days my response would be absolutely! However, I have my doubts of my true abilities to do this job the best that I can since half the time I feel like a walking zombie who lacks sleep, which in return causes me to have little patience or motivation to do much of anything besides keeping my boys alive.
I have two small boys, Aiden is 4 and a half and Liam turned 1 in August...note the day before my father passed away suddenly while we were all in Florida together on a family "dream" turned to nightmare vacation. We can save that rant and rave for another blog. My boys are truly the loves of my life even though they can drive me absolutely crazy on a daily basis. I have another love of my life, my third boy, my husband Don of 12 and a half years. Sadly, we don't get to see him near enough since he has to work his life away trying to support our one income family. He's beyond the hardest and dedicated worker I know and I can only hope our boys inherit that trait and one day understand why daddy was gone so much. He does it all for us.
My job may cause daily "madness" per se, but it also creates daily joys, laughter and a deep sense of accomplishment at the end of each day when the boys are fed, clean and tucked safely into bed while sound asleep and hopefully dreaming of sweet thoughts about how much they are loved each and every day. I sacrifice a lot to put them first, including long, hot showers where I can actually shave my legs and scrub my calloused feet instead of barely allowing myself enough time to wash my hair and body. I can only hope and pray that I'm doing a good job and raising them to become the independent, respectful, driven men myself and their dad wish for them to grow and develop in to. As I once heard, probably on an Oprah show, we're not raising kids, we're raising adults. So if you want them to become successful adults in the future then you have to sacrifice your time now as parents of young children to ensure you're doing all that you can to help guide them down the "right" path, whatever path that may be, and hope that they make the best choices in the end for themselves and their family.
So is the madness worth it, I'll ask again? My answer this time is without a doubt!
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